5 Signs You Are Codependent

5 Signs You Are Codependent

Are you a Codependent?

•             Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?

•             Are you always worried about others’ opinions of you?

•             Have you ever lived with someone with an alcohol or drug problem?

•             Have you ever lived with someone who hits or belittles you?

•             Are the opinions of others more important than your own?

•             Do you feel rejected when significant others spend time with friends?

•             Do you doubt your ability to be who you want to be?

•             Are you uncomfortable expressing your true feelings to others?

•             Do you feel like a “bad person” when you make a mistake?

•             Do you have difficulty taking compliments or gifts?

•             Do you think people in your life would go downhill without your constant efforts?

•             Do you frequently wish someone could help you get things done?

•             Are you confused about who you are or where you are going with your life?

•             Do you have trouble saying “no” when asked for help?

•             Do you have trouble asking for help?


What is Codependency?

Codependency is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissism or drug addiction); and in broader terms, it refers to the dependence on the needs of, or control of, another. It also often involves placing a lower priority on one’s own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others. Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including family, work, friendship, and also romantic, peer or community relationships. Codependency often affects a spouse, a parent, sibling, friend, or co-worker of a person afflicted with alcohol or drug dependence.

Harmful Effects of Being Codependent

Unresolved patterns of codependency can lead to more serious problems like alcoholism, drug addiction, eating disorders, sex addiction, and other self-destructive or self-defeating behaviors. People with codependency are also more likely to attract further abuse from aggressive individuals, more likely to stay in stressful jobs or relationships, less likely to seek medical attention when needed and are also less likely to get promotions and tend to earn less money than those without codependency patterns.

For some, the social insecurity caused by codependency can progress into full-blown social anxiety disorders like social phobia, avoidant personality disorder or painful shyness. Other stress-related disorders like panic disorder, depression or PTSD may also be present.

Characteristics of Co-dependent People Are:

•             An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others

•             A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue

•             A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time

•             A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts

•             An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a   relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment

•             An extreme need for approval and recognition

•             A sense of guilt when asserting themselves

•             A compelling need to control others

•             Lack of trust in self and/or others

•             Fear of being abandoned or alone

•             Difficulty identifying feelings

•             Rigidity/difficulty adjusting to change

•             Problems with intimacy/boundaries

•             Chronic anger

•             Lying/dishonesty

•             Poor communications

•             Difficulty making decisions


5 Signs of Codependency

#1. The codependent makes excuses for the other person’s behavior.


#2. The codependent enables the person with the problem to keep going down the wrong path and is in denial that the other person has a problem. Likewise, the opposite is also true: the codependent doesn’t realize that they have a problem and thinks that they are helping the troubled person when they are really not.


#3. The codependent takes care of everything such as money, the household, etc.


#4. The codependent acts like the main person in order to keep a good family image.


#5. The codependent withdraws from others and acts like he/she doesn’t care what others have to say.








Love Addiction Therapy

Love Addiction Therapy

Love addiction is not actually the addiction to a person whom someone loves. In fact, it is the exact opposite. Someone with a love addiction doesn’t actually love the person who is the object of their affection; instead the addiction is more about a series of compulsive actions that the person is unable to stop. Someone who is a love addict will have an established pattern of brief but very intense, romantic relationships. If someone with a love addiction has a long-term relationship it is characterized by many highs and lows. Another pattern of someone who is a love addict is when the person withdraws completely from romantic or sexual relationships, like a kind of anorexia, in order to avoid feeling vulnerable. In all of these instances the love addict is focused more on romantic relationships whether it be avoiding them, involvement in one or looking for the next one.

Here are some signs of a love addiction:

  • Being involved in one romantic/sexual relationship after another or juggling multiple relationships
  • Feeling incomplete when in between romantic relationships
  • Inability to let go of the relationship once it is over
  • Repeatedly getting involved with people who are emotionally unavailable
  • Becoming emotionally or sexually attached to a person you don’t really know
  • Idolizing a romantic interest and then blaming that person for not living up to their expectations
  • Spending an inappropriate amount of time on romantic fantasies or obsession that interferes with the love addict’s life

Love addiction therapy comes in the form of supportive therapy, a 12-step programs like Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous or both. With love addiction therapy the goal is not to expect a person to live a loveless existence for the rest of their life. Instead they need to stop constantly focusing on finding the next love partner or obsessing about the one they have or have lost. The whole goal of love addiction therapy is to move towards are more positive relationship with a real person not an idyllic fantasy of Prince charming or the Princess etc. Codependents Anonymous is another great way to get love addiction therapy because it guides its members towards developing healthy relationships.

Love addiction therapy also will need to include rules for love sobriety. Love addiction therapy can include the help from a therapist or a sponsor who can help to set limits on the behavior. An example of this would be the therapist or sponsor says that flirting is off limits or sexual intimacy is off limits for the first 30 days of dating. Overtime this can help a love addict learn how to manage their obsessions and become better able to have a healthy relationship with another person.

It is hard with a love addiction because to a certain extent a lot of the symptoms are normal but if the obsession with relationships or love begin taking over someone’s life then there is definitely a problem. Luckily there are multiple self-help groups and any therapist can offer love addiction therapy to someone who needs it.

Source: http://www.projectknow.com/research/love-addiction/